Every act of communication is an act of tremendous courage in which we give ourselves over to two parallel possibilities: the possibility of planting into another mind a seed sprouted in ours and watching it blossom into a breathtaking flower of mutual understanding; and the possibility of being wholly misunderstood, reduced to a withering weed. Candor and clarity go a long way in fertilizing the soil, but in the end there is always a degree of unpredictability in the climate of communication — even the warmest intention can be met with frost. Yet something impels us to hold these possibilities in both hands and go on surrendering to the beauty and terror of conversation, that ancient and abiding human gift. And the most magical thing, the most sacred thing, is that whichever the outcome, we end up having transformed one another in this vulnerable-making process of speaking and listening. ~ Maria Popova
Communication is about giving and receiving, listening to understand instead of listening to respond, asking the right questions and offering the answers that we have, even if the water remains murky. After all, when it comes to conversation, there are no right answers. There are only the proper questions.
Asking the proper question is the central action of transformation- in fairy tales, in analysis, and in individuation. The key question causes germination of consciousness. The properly shaped question always emanates from an essential curiosity about what stands behind. Questions are the keys that cause the secret doors of the psyche to swing open.
As Margaret Atwood writes, “At the end of the day in spring, you should smell like dirt.” So, metaphorically or literally, may your days end with the sweet smell of a day spent in the garden of communication; days filled with the beauty and terror of human conversation.
Heidi Barr | Author 