Here we are at the close of another year…often a time of reflection and goal setting for the next twelve months. Despite my long tenure as a health and wellness coach, I’ve never been one to set New Years Resolutions—deep winter (as much as I enjoy winter..) just doesn’t seem like the best time to overhaul life.
But I do like reflecting on what sort of energy from which I’d like the next twelve months to grow. Finding ceremony in the ordinary, or reclaiming it if it’s slipped from my consciousness, is part of it. And these words from Arundhati Roy sum up some aspirations that I think we might all due well to keep working toward: “To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never to forget.” ―from The Cost of Living
Anyway, I am not a big fan of New Years Resolutions, so this isn’t going to be a list of things I think you should overhaul as a new year begins. Rather, it’s a list of tiny things that I have found to be helpful in staying true to my roots and grounded in what matters most. As Ellie and I encourage in our book 12 Tiny Things, I’d invite you to try these on as you like, keep what fits, and set aside what doesn’t. Mix and match to identify the combination of small, intentional acts that work for you. There’s no one size fits all when it comes to intentional living. There’s just what fits for you in this season of life.
One: Practice consent. This means giving a hearty yes when you feel called toward something. This also means saying a firm no to that which isn’t yours, to that which you don’t want, and to that which you’re ready to let go. ➡️ tiny thing: Make friends with one boundary.
Two: Be where you are. At least some of the time – planning ahead and reflecting on what’s already happened is an important part of a full life for most, but a great many of us spend more time in the past and future than we do in the present. As I write in my first poetry collection, Cold Spring Hallelujah, The present is more appealing | when it’s not being | crowded out by a fight | between past and future | to see who can cause | the most trouble. The present is where life unfolds, it makes sense to be there more often than not. ➡️ tiny thing: Press pause and notice your physical surroundings with all of your senses for 60 seconds. Repeat as is useful.
Three: Notice your attention, and where it goes. This is a lot like #2 of course, but it’s important enough to say it in more than one way. What gets attention tends to grow, so ensure you’re helping the good stuff thrive. ➡️ tiny thing: Take one deep breath, and pay attention to how the air fills your lungs on the inhale and follow it as it leaves your body when you breathe out.
Four: Savor. Be it food, cold water, or fine wine, engage in mindfulness when doing so is possible. Appreciate fully where your nourishment comes from and delight in how it fills you up. ➡️ tiny thing: Experience eating with your whole self.
Five: Get comfortable. That is to say, wear clothes that fit well and shoes that support your movement. Align your daily activities with what’s important to you, and make sure you’re setting yourself up for feeling your best while doing it. ➡️ tiny thing[s]: Donate any clothes or shoes that don’t feel good when you wear them & spend at least a portion of each day wrapped in something comfortable.
Six: Opt Outside. Spend more time outside that you think you should soaking up natural light and fresh air. Time in nature is healing, and even in the city, wildness is accessible by looking up at the sky. ➡️ tiny thing: Go outside and look all the way up.
Seven: Write with a pen. Digital technology and communication is fantastic, don’t get me wrong. Yet so is the act of putting pen to paper and crafting a physical message to somebody you care about, or noting the things that went on during the day just for you in a journal. ➡️ tiny thing: Write a letter or jot in a journal. Reclaim your handwriting muscles.
Eight: Be on the lookout for astonishment. Be it gratitude for home, family, friends, pets, health, enough food on the table, a 3 minute break from whatever life storm is swirling around, whatever the case may be…notice those little bits of good and let yourself be surprised by the power of thankfulness. ➡️ tiny thing: Name something that’s good about life right now.
Nine: Explore pleasure. From sensation to scent, see if you can identify what your physical body truly likes. Then give yourself the gift of experiencing it at the intervals that work best for you. ➡️ tiny thing: Make a list of things that make you feel good. Do one of them.
Ten: Try something new. Get out drawing pencils, mixing bowls, an old guitar or clarinet, and bring a new bit of art into being. Plant some heirloom seeds, mow spirals in the yard, make a collage of fallen leaves, build a bird house. The possibilities are endless because a human can only truly be really good at a limited number of things. ➡️ tiny thing: Exercise your creativity in a medium that’s new to you. Even if you’re very bad at it.
Eleven: Read. Expand your mind, learn, grow. Deepen your knowledge on something. ➡️ tiny thing: Find a book on your shelf you’ve been meaning to get to. Read the first chapter. Repeat with all chapters.
Twelve: Reach out. To a neighbor you don’t know well, an old friend you haven’t seen in years, your kid’s friend’s mom, an elder at church. Extend yourself to another and accept whatever is returned. ➡️ tiny thing: Ask someone how they are doing and really listen to the answer. Tell the truth when someone asks you.
It may be nearly a new year, but that doesn’t mean you need to create a ‘new you’— there is no new you, there is just who you are, an imperfect human creature that’s whole already.
There are embers glowing in the rubble of even the hardest years. The more beautiful world is rising, despite everything, and it needs you to be who you already are, not what the marketing executives decide will lead to the most profit. You don’t need a 10 step program to [____], or an app to [_____]. You do need to be fully yourself and look for ways to add your unique form of healing of the world. And no one but you gets to decide what exactly that means.
Heidi Barr | Author 